This must be a general sentiment among most women who read this blog (but don’t write to me enough!), so I’ll reply to this question in some detail.
Just to be clear, I wouldn’t have had any sort of relationship with hardnrough2002 at all if his wife wasn’t okay with it. She is, after all, his wife and no other woman in his life, including myself, would be around if she didn’t allow it. She is extremely loving and cares for all of his women equally, in ways that even he cannot manage to live up to at times! But above all else, she loves hardnrough2002 the most and that’s what makes all of this possible.
This is not to say that she’s not human and hasn’t gone through the expected stages of denial (of the implicit pleasure involved), rage, jealousy, self-doubt, acceptance and guilt – the last of which comes up when you’ve become more honest about yourself but still worry over what the world would think if it found out.
A lot of her inner conflict happened before I came into the scene but having gone through the whole emotional rigmarole myself over the past few years (because the women keep coming!), I can tell you that it’s certainly not easy but the freedom you experience at the end of the struggle – if you’re brave enough to enter into it – is a million times more rewarding than clinging to a tired, worn out concept of having one man to yourself.
I completely understand that you feel you could never be able to do what we do with your husband. Maybe neither of you wants to do it – in which case why ponder on it at all? But maybe you’re here reading this blog because your partner has fantasized about it and has shared the idea with you. Maybe you’ve fantasized about it yourself, even though you would never admit it. But you’re scared of going down this road because you don’t know what to expect.
I get the feeling people don’t like to read about how much hardnrough2002 is responsible for every happiness I have today, preferring to call me ‘brainwashed’ and insinuating that hardnrough2002 is manipulating the situation to his advantage, instead of accepting the possibility of such a thing existing, lest it destroy their own scarcely-challenged perception of the world.
Among these happinesses (shouldn’t that be a word?), is one of a slowly growing sense of completion that’s becoming less and less dependent on somebody else’s proffering of or withdrawal of affections. And I could get here not because of hardnrough2002‘s seeming cruelty but his profound and patient love that he has steadily poured into me even as I raved and raged against him, cried, blamed and protested at the horrible injustice of it all, eventually filling up the holes inside of me left by wounds that came long before but that I attributed to him because, well, it was convenient and morally justified. I would imagine it’s been the same for hardnrough2002‘s wife as well.
What I’m trying to get at is that to enter uncharted territories of the mind – sex being a very enjoyable way of doing so – may be a scary thing, but isn’t that what relationships are for? Do we partner with each other, making lifelong vows as husbands and wives or lovers only to subsequently close off whole parts of our personalities to them? Or is the entire point of being in love with another person that you hold him/her up as a mirror so that you can better see (and love) yourself?
You may find our lifestyle strange, but from our perspective, it’s most of you who live the unnatural life. We can’t fathom how you guys do it, really! Could somebody explain the rationale behind that? 🙂